The sweetness of doing NOTHING

Posted on November 30, 2010 by serenitynowwellness

It feels like I have not blogged for ages. I always want to go online to write but find that if I don’t get to a topic right away, it no longer feels relevant. But, after watching the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” there was a line that stuck with me. And, even after a few days of sitting with the idea of blogging on it, it still feels relevant. Though I have heard mixed reviews about both the movie and the author, there was one part of the movie that really made me think. While in Italy, she is discussing with her translator “il dolce far niente” which basically means the sweetness of doing nothing. My understanding of the scene is that the translator discusses how Italians differ from Americans because they can enjoy “nothingness”. Americans work hard all week long and then hide from the world in their pajamas all weekend long.

I started to think about the meaning of nothingness. I can definitely relate to that stereotype of the American hiding in their pajamas. I would definitely believe that a pajama weekend would be my idea of doing nothing. As an introvert, I find that I need to schedule weekends where I do not have a plan and I just hide in my house. Sometimes, this weekend getaway can be very rewarding. But, there are some times that I finish the weekend feeling just as exhausted as I did at the beginning of the weekend. That is what made me start to think about my definition of doing nothing. Perhaps it is simply because I am still “doing” that it does not feel as sweet. Maybe if I was not focused on the doing part, it would be more rewarding. So, what if instead of trying so hard to “do” nothing, I focused on whatever feels sweetest in the moment, I would be enjoying and reaping more benefits.

I am going to report back in two weeks because I am embarking on an experiment. I will spend the next two weeks enjoying the sweetness of “doing” nothing, and will try to be in the flow instead. I will listen to my internal guidance in the moment to determine what I need most and not plan anything. This will be new for me because I am a huge planner. So, I encourage others to join me on this experiment. Let me know what your experiences are and how you have felt enjoying “il dolce far niente”

Enjoy!

About serenitynowwellness

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." -Kahlil Gibran We often hear about wounded healers in the healing arena. These wounded healers can sometimes offer a bad reputation to the healing community because they are trying to heal their wounds through their clients. However, I believe behind every healer, there is a story (or several) of woundedness. It is through these wounds, these trials and tribulations, that we are able to serve our clients. If I did not have a story with some amount of pain, I would not be able to connect with my clients. I was born to serve so I decided this blog would be a great way to help others realize they are not alone. By sharing some of the things I have come through, I am attempting to increase hope. And, even if no one ever reads this blog, I am practicing what I teach- that it is by giving space to both the positive and the negative that life begins to become more manageable and less exhausting. So, this wounded healer is going to share the journey that has brought me here today as well as the speedbumps that continue to come along the way. Knowing always, that when I step into the room with a client, I am in service to them and I serve from the scars, not the wounds. The same is true on here- I serve from the scars, not the wounds to help others know they are not alone.
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3 Responses to The sweetness of doing NOTHING

  1. Eleanor stoneham says:
    November 30, 2010 at 8:48 am

    You truly sound like a real Wounded Healer and it is good to spread a message of hope for all the world. Regarding your opening comment about someone who is using their clients to heal their own wounds – he is surely not a wounded healer at all and it is unfortunate that such people give the real “Wounded Healer” a bad name.
    You will know that analytical psychologists are required to undergo personal analysis in order that they may understand their own wounds and the compensations they make for them in their own behavior. This ensures that those wounds do not interfere in the therapeutic process with their clients. Very occasionally I have sensed this behavior whilst on the receiving end of therapy so I know it can be a problem.
    You may be interested in the work of Professor of Psychology Charles Carver who has identified several stages along the road to the true Wounded Healer. Prompted by your blog I am about to post a longer article on the Wounded Healer on my own blog and you may be interested.

    Reply
  2. Eleanor stoneham says:
    December 5, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Dear Tessa – the article has gone up on my blog today 5th December at http://www.musings-ems.blogspot.com/ I hope you find it of some interest and of course comments always invited! best regards Eleanor

    Reply

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